Penny Thoughts: They Will Do What They See

Too often parents either forget or ignore the impact they have on their children.  This becomes particularly acute in youth sports and even middle school or high school sports.  We hear and see news clips of parents at little league games getting into brawls over a call some game official has made or getting into a shouting fest with another parent during a game for no other reason than the parent is far too invested in the outcome of the game.

Sometimes, these verbal clashes escalate to the point of no return and in one instance which I recently saw on a news report one parent brandished a gun and began firing away.  Such displays of outrageous behavior do not go unnoticed by the very children which parents are intended to support.

No matter the ultimate outcome of the parents’ ludicrous behaviors, what the youngsters have witnessed leave a lasting impression.  As they grow and mature they will use what they have seen as a model for their future responses to similar situations in which they have an opportunity to react or to respond. 

And whatever they do will be a direct reflection on what they have seen because – and this is important – while they may not have individually participated in the parents’ bad acts, they did participate by merely having been there! 

Sadly, they also harbor a sense of responsibility for what their parents did. While they may not be able to verbalize this sense of responsibility it will have left a lasting impression on them! In their futures they may encounter a situation in which what their parents may have done will surface as a template for how they believe they should react or respond.

This is so very sad and runs counter to the real intention of sport in America.  The first to hold athletic competitions, as we all know, were the Ancient Greeks who assembled at the foot of Mount Olympus to pay homage to their gods in the various competitions.  In effect, it was a religious event.  The participants were to display their abilities as best they could and in so doing exhibited to the gods their perfection, commonly seen as their “virtue”.

As it has been with all civilizations, sport is an aspect of life which lionizes its participants as representatives of its most revered fundamentals, the highest ideals, and the most deeply held beliefs that civilization espouses.  Perfection of mind and body as propounded by Ancient Athens, along with the implication of competition serving as fundamental to that perfect union, also serves as a basis for the fascination with sport in our American culture.

Sport serves as the best arena for youngsters to advance merely by virtue of their individual abilities.  More importantly, it is sport in America today which still embraces the notion that it is the activity which best exhibits the highest qualities of America’s values – competition, fair-play, opportunity unfettered by socio-economic or racial status, staunch individualism, dedication to “team”, and the belief that participation will develop a better sense of character.

And sport reveals a fundamental principle upon which our Nation was founded and through which it has enjoyed the great successes it has achieved.

It is the concept of meritocracy—that is, one advances solely through one’s efforts.

These, then, are the articles of sport’s foundation which all of us, particularly the parents, must keep in mind as they sit in the stands and cheer their brood.  It is imperative that they incorporate and exhibit these principles of sport in their behaviors at the competition. And remember this – their eyes are always on us!