Tears & Laughter: How not to get elected

Camden had what was described by many as its most spirited mayoral election in years last Tuesday. And that is really saying something if you are familiar with the history of elections Wilcox County has witnessed. We are not new to voting irregularities. But for a town that all total had just over 700 votes cast, the drama surrounding last week’s election was a bit much.

The Secretary of State was called. Wilcox County can’t conduct elections anymore without calling the Secretary of State. He knows elections are too complicated for us no matter how few people vote. This time he was called to look into the absentee ballot box. Apparently one of the campaigns harvested more absentee ballots than were counted and demanded to know why.

I have a Camden address, but I do not live within the city limits of Camden, so I did not have a vote in the mayor’s race. My community is unincorporated, I can only have an opinion.

An amusing fact that emerged this year was that the winner is not determined by the number of campaign signs stuck in the ground – or by the number stolen. Either way it doesn’t matter. We don’t know what exactly does matter, but it’s evidently not signs.

Being that I have never ran for Mayor, I cannot be completely sure, but I am called a friend by several politicians…for what that is worth, and I have discerned from them through the years  that there is a right way and a wrong way to go about attempting to get elected to political office.

One of the first things a candidate running for anything from dog catcher to governor has to do is learn to be like a chicken – don’t show your feelings with your face. It is helpful too if the candidate can condition themselves to have an exterior that is thicker than cowhide and have a personality that – if need be – can react like a rattlesnake. You have to have the ability to shut down trolls. 

It is also important to be careful who you let in the inner circle of confidence. Candidates who let complete rubes get involved with their campaign are typically not satisfied with the outcome of the election. The quickest way to get a voter to vote the other way is to attempt to intimidate them. That technique is off-putting, and has been the ruin of a many a half-ass at best candidates.

And politics can be a double edged sword. Politicians, bless their hearts, have a tendency of sometimes telling people what they want to hear. Voters are no different. They will listen to the plan, eat the free food, tell candidates what they want to hear – and still vote for whoever they choose. 

But maybe the most crucial part of running for elected office in a small town – other than having a clean past – is for the candidate to be genuine. Candidates who are propped up financially, or bought out entirely, by people with a grudge and who use money like a weapon are probably not going to make a strong finish.

A political newcomer might do better to run on their own name and character, and in their own accord, than to allow someone to buy them and their name for a price. There is more strength in looking people straight-on and expressing intentions, than attempting to make someone else’s goals sound authentic.

If a candidate has points to make that are their own ideas, they never have to look down at a page to read them or remind themselves…because they already know them. It comes across to voters as real. And that is what makes the cream rise to the top on election day.

Amanda Walker is a contributor with AL.com, The Selma Times Journal, Thomasville Times, West Alabama Watchman, and Alabama Gazette. Contact her at Walkerworld77@msn.com or at https://www.facebook.com/AmandaWalker.Columnist.