Tears and Laughter: Summer can be marred forever by an accident or tragedy

By this time of the summer the days seem to stretch-out, one into the next without rush or hurry. Time seems to pause, giving way for rest and reflection – for moments of idleness that let thoughts meander themselves to their end.   

It has been said everything good and delightful happens between the months of June and August. It is when memories are made and excitement looms and an eternal sense of freedom lives.

The cicada’s remind us from the trees and bushes where they hide that it is temporary – this hum of bees, the butterflies and clouds floating by. The bright glare of the sun, and the heat that rises like a spirit. The long dusks, the sound of bullfrogs after dark, the fireflies that enchant the moonlit nights…all temporary.

For all the fun it promises, for many, summer is haunted. This past holiday weekend several families across Alabama had their summers altered forever because of accidents and tragedies. They are mourning the sudden passing of a child, or a parent, or somebody they love.

Others may not have just recently lost someone, but are grieving the loss of someone still.

I have a friend who lost her youngest daughter to an accidental drowning a couple of summers back. The little girl was just shy of turning two. Still a baby.

Time moved forward, but her mother hasn’t. She doesn’t celebrate the Fourth anymore. She doesn’t celebrate anything anymore. Some days are better for her than others, but none of them are good. At least not yet. Even when she forces a smile, her eyes refuse to participate.

She is not alone.

Practically everyone is battling with something the rest of us can’t see.

They may be grieving, or struggling to come to terms with some kind of loss.

They may be so consumed with worry that it has silenced all of the joy they once knew.

They may be worried about their marriage, their finances, a sick child, an aging parent, or a family member struggling with an addiction.

People seldom admit to being worried or fearful or sad. It is just not our nature. It is not part of our culture. People you cross paths with today are not going to tell you they are exhausted because they didn’t sleep last night, just like the night before, because they are still grieving the loss of someone who passed away years ago.

They are not going to tell you that they feel like nothing in their life matters anymore or that they do not care about anything they used to care about…even the things they were once passionate about.

They think nobody would understand, but in reality, we all understand on some level.

We all say we are fine even when we are not. We sing it like a song saying we are good. But many of the people you will see in town today or speak to in the grocery store or wave to on your way home are not as okay as they say.

This is the same no matter where you are. When you go on vacation, it is the people you sit beside on the plane or the people crowded around you on the beach. Everyone has a hidden burden they carry. Everyone. Everywhere.

Be kind if you can.

Amanda Walker is a contributor with AL.com The Selma Times Journal, Thomasville Times, West Alabama Watchman, and Alabama Gazette. Contact her at Walkerworld77@msn.com or at https://www.facebook.com/AmandaWalker.Columnist