Tears and Laughter: Don’t be that girl

It wasn’t until 1965 that married women in America were given permission to use birth control. It was still a while before unmarried women were given the same privilege. I guess the Supreme Court didn’t think they were too much into that kind of thing.

Women have come a long way.

Girls growing up today have freedoms that let them plan to become anybody they want to be – if they are willing to set a goal and follow the plan of action to get there. Greatness does not fall out of the sky. Excellence does not happen without dedication. Meaningful lives are planned. Success is a lifestyle choice.

Not that everybody has to be successful. Some people don’t give a damn, and that is fine too. Everybody is free to have their own definition of success. Some people may choose not to have material things in exchange for the freedom of responsibility that choice allows. That is wonderful too. To each her own.

It is really a luxury to live in a country where choice is spread out in front of us like a feast. If you want to be a goat farmer, or if you want to be an investment banker, or drive a honeywagon, or fly a Blue Angel. If you want to for some reason want to go up into space…it is an option. If you want to be a man, I think you can even pretend to do that now. Whatever you want to do, have at it.

Chances are, you will not navigate your way through all of life’s many choices without making a few wrong turns. That is normal. It is perfectly acceptable. Often, it is how we learn who we authentically are – by learning who we are truly not. We know what we want by learning what we don`t. What suits us, by what doesn’t.

For example, let’s say you make a decision, but then you feel like you can’t breathe and fear you are going to be sick. That is a fairly strong human indicator that you have made a wrong choice for yourself and you need to back up and try again.

Few things are unchangeable or unforgivable.

I met someone recently who was open about the fact that during her teen years she was promiscuous. She said she had a spiral notebook she kept hidden in her closet and she would write down the name of every man she went out with.

According to her testimony she eventually got therapy and Jesus – in that order – then changed her way of being. She said during that time she mostly wanted the attention. She knew it would be short-lived, but for then, it had been enough for her. She said when she got into triple digits, she stopped.

I didn’t ask if she stopped seeing men, or if she just stopped writing their names down in her book, but she has been happily married and gainfully employed most of her adult life. Her past is in the past.

People are quick to forgive being young and crazy.

People forgive bad choices. The wrong turns and chances you wish you had never taken will erode over time into just how things were meant to be.

God offers salvation, and karma weighs things. But never make fun of a boy who makes his own college football T-shirt. Don’t be that girl. Ever.

Amanda Walker is a contributor with AL.com The Selma Times Journal, Thomasville Times, West Alabama Watchman, and Alabama Gazette. Contact her at Walkerworld77@msn.com or at https://www.facebook.com/AmandaWalker.Columnist