Counselor’s Desk: Life beyond the diagnosis

I have noticed in conversations when talking about someone’s well-being, either physically or mentally, people in the South tend to use variations of empathetic statements such as “bless their heart, they are so sick” or “they can’t help it, they’re just sick”. I agree that we all need to be sympathetic to others, but when does this sympathy become disabling?

As a society, when did we adopt the concept that if you have a disability, you are fully disabled? This was brought to my attention while working with several clients in our mental health/substance abuse facility. When we would talk about work or meaningful activities, many of my clients would automatically add in that they are on disability. When did we define work as only something that we do that provides an income? We are all capable of having a variety of strengths and talents that far exceed the definitions associated with one vocation or another. So when did we learn to limit ourselves based on our capability to work?

Whatever our circumstances, we have to be more than our limitations. I have had clients come into our groups and want to know everyone’s diagnosis. There seems to be a hierarchy of sorts: they are sicker than me or I am sicker than them. Clients seem to use this as a way to say that we should teach each individual something different based upon their diagnosis. I think it surprises many people that we teach some common things that even someone without a mental health diagnosis could benefit from: daily structure, meaningful activities, medication compliance, etc.

We seem to place people with mental health problems in a box. We have certainly done that up until now by placing people in psychiatric facilities. Now that those facilities have shut their doors, people have to see themselves and others in a different light. Shouldn’t that light empower more than it disables? Just because someone has a mental health diagnosis doesn’t mean that they are limited as a whole. Yes, they may struggle in certain areas, but they are still very much capable of volunteering, helping others, and being an active part of society.

I think of this concept as the missing “and”, because there seems to be a gross misconception in today’s society that we are our diagnosis and our diagnosis is all that we are. If someone has a physical health problem, they usually will say, “I have _______ and I do ________.“ For example, “I have cancer and I am going through chemotherapy,” or “I have diabetes and I take insulin.”

However, in mental health, we are missing the “and”. People will say, “I am bipolar,” or “I am schizophrenic” or “depressed.” Where’s the “and”? I wouldn’t say “I am cancer” or “I am high blood pressure”. Why don’t we talk about treatment or what else we are as an individual? It would be so refreshing for someone to say, “I have anxiety AND I go see my therapist AND I take medication to help me with my volunteer work at the library” or “I have bipolar disorder so I see my psychiatrist AND I run the local soup kitchen.”

When we label ourselves, we severely limit ourselves and others. It is telling that we talk a lot in our therapy groups at my facility about isolating. Our clients isolate because they don’t want to be judged by others but also because they don’t value their own capabilities. I have so many clients who are such wonderful people with amazing talents who have so much to offer the world other than their diagnosis. I wish the world could see the person instead of their diagnosis. I wish my clients could see that about themselves too.

Kate Crawford is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is the director of Tombigbee Outreach in Demopolis. For more information about Tombigbee Outreach, call 334-287-2428.