Tears and Laughter: Politically correct Barbie widely misses the mark

When I was a kid growing up in Sandflat, we had Barbie. It was her and her fun buddy, Ken.

Barbie had that great smile and her make-up was flawless. She had a bikini for every day of the week, which made sense because, as you know, she lived in Malibu. I always figured she was probably neighbors with Johnny Carson.

She was the regular girl about town too, she had all those gorgeous gowns she would wear charity events with her matching clutches and the heels. She had the things in every color you could dye a shoe, but she couldn’t keep them on. Her toes were permanently pointed. The shoes would unexpectedly slide right off and fall prey to the vacuum just like all those tiny little sparkly earrings that wouldn’t stay poked into the side of her head.

At the time, in the heart of the 70’s, most little girls did not expect to live in a “dream house” or sport around in the Hollywood Hills driving a convertible. But most of us – pretending, of course, the way kids do when they engage in imaginative play – wanted to look like Barbie if we by chance did.

Or, if being tan and blonde wasn’t your brand of play, there were her identical darker haired and skin-toned friends, Teresa and Christie, to choose from who shared her exact same measurements.

And these girls were always the picture of health. They were all avid tennis players and liked to ski and would have just the most fabulous of times lounging out by the plastic pink pool together.

Back then they were into aerobics, which I’m sure today would be yoga, and they were forever going on road trips in the big RV. It was a glorious pretend life. But something awful has happened and the plastic people at Mattel are trying to diversify Barbie World. And that’s a worthy goal I suppose, but what child is going to want to pretend to be chubby – I mean – curvy Barbie. Like Barbie doesn’t already have enough of the curve thing going on.

That was the whole point of Barbie. Real life isn’t perfect. We grow and age and change as we live and hopefully develop a character somewhere along the way that supersedes our superficial appearance…even though we live in this society that always and will reward beauty. I guess that’s just the nature of people, to appreciate what is attractive.

But Barbie, at least for a short time in childhood, allowed a brief escape where we were all perfect. No wonder kids today are so attached to their phones. They aren’t allowed the freedom to imagine even within themselves anymore.

Mattel will also offer a taller as well as a more petite body type along with new skin tones and hair textures in their effort to be inclusive. For now, the new politically correct Barbie’s will only be available on Mattel’s website and will be sold in pairs as friends. The changes have caused quite a stir in the real Barbie World. So much so that Mattel has set up a helpline to answer customer’s questions regarding the new choices. Many fans have become curious about what changes could be waiting in the wings for Ken, most wondering if he too will now have the option of being a petite, tall, or curvy girl.

Amanda Walker is a columnist with The West Alabama Watchman, Al.com, The Thomasville Times, and The Wilcox Progressive Era. For more information, visit her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/AmandaWalker.Columnist.